Double Shot Espresso
by Infinite Vibrance
Summary: Sometimes, living life as a single-father trying to save a struggling cafe sucked. And the 'sucking' part may or may not come into play now that Naruto has a pissy Vampire living under his roof. Oh yeah, that most definitely sucked.
1. Chapter 1

I'll probably regret this but this idea has been bouncing in my head for a while. I've always wanted to write Naruto a single-father, and I've always wanted to write about vampires. So I thought, why not mix the two together? Hella fun man okay leggo.

**Warning: **Future M/M situations. Cursing, future descriptive gay sex. Like penis is inserted into anus sex. And terrible humor.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything but the plot and the sucky-HAHAHA PUN-summary.

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**Double Shot Espresso **

Naruto hated the rain. It made everything so... soggy, and stilled the already small flow of customers down to two or three solid regulars. He picked up a red, shiny mug and jabbed his dish rag into it repeatedly, muttering a string of curses that had Pein chuckling.

"Don't take your anger out on the mug, Naruto. It never did anything to you."

Naruto twisted up his face and placed the mug down on a coaster. "It's either that or you and I go a couple of rounds."

"I never knew you were so adamant on getting your ass kicked."

"That was one time and you know it!"

"Pein you're causing a scene." Gaara entered the shop, shaking rain droplets of his umbrella. Gaara was a friend from college before Naruto had to drop out. He made sure to stop by the cafe on Tuesdays and Fridays after work.

Pein smirked, bringing his mug of coffee to his lips. "That's my job. You're here early. Too many idiots at work?"

Gaara scowled while Naruto went off to make his usual cup. "They increase everyday, I swear. If it weren't for the fact that my salary is on the line, I'd murder everyone and be done with it."

"Wow, Gaara. Always a big ray of sunshine, huh?" Naruto chuckled. He finished Gaara's coffee off with a nice little Panda made from the creamer, a long running joke from their college years, and placed it by Gaara's face.

"Stop doing that to my coffee. The joke is old."

"I think the joke still has twenty more years on it."

"Of course _you _would, Pein. Though same could be said about your nickname. What was it again? _Full Metal-_"

Pein slapped a hand over Gaara's mouth before he could even finish his sentence. _"Don't," _he hissed, eyes narrowed and venom slightly icing his tone.

Naruto rolled his eyes. These two never changed. Always making jabs and taunts at each other no matter where they were. At least they were entertaining when they got this way. Made it so much easier to keep them around. Naruto was about to add his own opinion in, probably something that would ignite their tempers even more, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Ice dropped to the pit of his stomach.

"Can you guys hold off on killing each other for, like, two minutes? I have to take a call."

"No promises," Gaara and Pein said at the same time, eyes locked in a heated glare.

"Seriously. If there's one puddle of blood on my nice bar I'll strangle you both to kingdom come, got it?" He didn't get a human response. Figures. There was no stopping them now. With a sigh, Naruto stepped outside into the alleyway where he threw out all his trash. He picked up his phone, waited for a second to make sure his voice didn't sound like a terrified three-year-old, and sighed. "Yeah?"

"_My, my. Don't you sound so excited to hear me. I missed you~" _

'_Can't say the feeling's mutual.' _His skin crawled with how sickly sweet the voice on the other end of the line sounded. No, purring at the end of your sentences was not a turn on. It was a _major _turn off and you should probably stop it right now before Naruto slams his head repeatedly into the wall. "Cut to the chase, Orochimaru. I'm not in the mood for playing your games."

"_Always a party pooper. Why, where's that perky, hyperactive blond I know and love?" _

Trying very hard not to throw up his lunch, that's where. "If this is about the money-"

"_Don't be stupid," _Orochimaru snapped. _"It will _always _be about the money. But sometimes a man has other desires as well-" _

"Fuck no. I _refuse._" Naruto hissed. He already had millions of problems struggling to be carried on his shoulders, he didn't need Orochimaru's twisted perversion to added another thousand. "I'll have the money for you by the end of the week." If Orochimaru couldn't wait until then, Naruto was so, so _screwed. _

"_I hope so," _Orochimaru purred. Naruto could practically _feel _the threat coming up like a claw and wrapping it's long fingers around his neck. _"You were late the last time and you know how much I hate late payments." _

Of course he did. Naruto still had the burn marks to prove it.

"Bye," Naruto spat out, cutting the line dead. He leaned against the wall and resisted every fiber and urge in his body to just break down and cry. He was so damned stressed. Have Orochimaru's money by the end of the week? Yeah, no. That's not going to happen. Ten thousand dollars just didn't poof out of thin air. Business had been much slower than usual and Naruto had barely made enough money to feed himself, let alone his little boy. This was not going to end well.

"You gotta stay strong, Uzumaki." He tried to reassure himself. He tried to imagine a life and day and year and dimension where his business was booming and he had numerous staff to help handle all the throngs of customers that came his way. He imagined a life where he didn't have to worry about where the next meal came to feed himself and his son. He tried to imagine a perfect fucking life where his wife was still around and he didn't have Orochimaru hanging around like Death's fucking secretary.

He tried so damn hard but it never worked out.

Thunder boomed in the air.

Naruto looked at his hands. They were shaking violently. He clenched his fingers and took three, calming breaths. "I'm alright. I'm alright. Everything... is alright." He turned on his phone to look at the camera. He flashed it a perfectly crafted fake smile. Once pleased with the results, he pocketed his phone and headed back inside to the cafe.

Pein was gone, leaving a very miffed Gaara in his wake.

"If I look around the store will I find Pein's dead body stuffed in one of the cabinets?"

Gaara scoffed. "A man can only dream."

{Double Shot}

Naruto always closed his shop at 5:30 in the evening. It gave him fifteen minutes to shower, get dressed, and walk the few blocks down the the local kindergarten where he left Aki at every morning. He always made sure to look his best, though, considering Aki's teacher, Sakura Haruno, was currently the apple of Naruto's eye.

An unobtainable apple, but one he adored and pined after nonetheless.

"N-Naruto-san, nice to see you today..." Hinata was one of the five teachers who helped out at the center. She always had a little bit of a stutter and blushed profusely whenever Naruto was within five feet of her. Naruto never knew _why _but she was a nice girl to talk to, always helped him out whenever he needed Aki to stay back a little longer at school. She was a nice friend to have around.

"Hinata-chan! You look great today! Did you do something to your hair?"

Cue the fiery expanse that conquered Hinata's face. "It's n-nothing special, Naruto-san. I just," she glanced down at her toes, "put my hair into ponytails... as all."

"Well it looks great on you." Naruto beamed, patting her on the shoulder.

"Stop harassing my staff, Naruto." Tsunade came out next. She was the director of the school and knew Naruto since Aki was a little baby. They were close. Though not close enough that Naruto would dare sully his pride and tell her his problems. Really, _no one _was that close.

"Aw shucks, Baa-chan. I'm not harassing Hinata-chan. Right?" He wrapped his arms around the girl's shoulders and flashed Tsunade a shit-eating grin.

"I think I'm going to faint-" Oh Hinata.

"Enough out of you, punk." Tsunade bapped Naruto on the back of the head. "You're here for Aki. _Aki. _Go get your kid and get out. He's been jabbering non-stop about some park date you two loons have."

Right. Right. Naruto had this day circled and starred and underline yet the stress of trying to come up with $10,000 by the end of the week had completely blown that thought out of the water. Well, not anymore. Now Naruto's sole focus was on Aki. His five year old little boy who wanted nothing more than to spend a few hours with Naruto, his pathetic excuse of a father.

Oh Lord he didn't deserve that boy.

"I don't know if we can do that tonight, though. The rain's pounding down pretty hard..."

Just then Aki came barreling out of a side room with his friend, Konohamaru, in tow and Sakura chasing them around with a broom yelling at them to either calm down or face time-out for a week. Aki ran right for Naruto's legs, hiding behind them and sticking his tongue out at Konohamaru.

"Ha ha! Can't get me now 'cause my daddy's here and he'll kick your butt!"

"That's not fair, Aki! You big chicken!"

"I'm no chicken! You're the chicken!"

"I don't even look like a chicken you buttface!"

"Hey, hey, hey." Naruto laughed, picking Aki up into his arms. He held the boy way up high. "What's this about me kicking Konohamaru's butt?"

"Daddy, daddy! Kono-Konohamaru! He said, he said that Captain Marvelous was stupid but I said that Captain Maarrrrverlous was really awesome because his name is Maaaarrvuuurlous and-ow, I bit my tongue."

That normally happened a lot whenever Aki got too excited but gee dang it if Naruto didn't find it the cutest thing in the world. He laughed even more, bopping Aki on the nose. "That sounds like one heck of an argument. But you know, sometimes people are gonna believe things differently from you so you gotta learn how to compromise, alright? Now go on. Apologize to Konohamaru for calling him a chicken."

"But I dun wanna-"

"Aki," cue the sternness coating Naruto's words that he thought he'd never get a chance to use.

Aki pouted but consented anyways. Turning in Naruto's arms, Aki wiggled out until he was placed on the ground. He stuck out his hand, his head turned the opposite way and his cheeks puffed out in obvious displeasure. "M'sorry..."

Konohamaru looked at the hand before breaking out into a huge smile. He tackled Aki onto the ground and gave him a noogie. "Nah man it's alright! You can like Marvelous. 'Sides I actually think he's really cool. I just wanted to say he wasn't to make you mad 'cause it's funny."

Well at least he was honest. Naruto watched with a tiny smile as Aki quickly forgot his anger and went on and on about how cool Marvelous was as the Red Super Sentai. Honestly Naruto shouldn't have gotten Aki hooked on that show but Lord knows Naruto was secretly addicted to the show like a guilty pleasure.

"Like father like son," Sakura chided playfully, setting her broom down and resting a hand on her hip. "I swear Aki only likes to pick fights for the heck of it."

"Well you're not wrong there," Naruto grinned. "By the way, Sakura-chan. I-I was thinking-"

"_No, _Naruto. I will not dress up like a french maid to attract business to your shop." The pinkette walked up to punch Naruto on the head. One punch a day was enough but two? Man today was just not Naruto's day.

"Ow! I already got abused by Baa-chan! Not you too! Hinata-chan, protect me!"

"I said stop groping my teachers, Naruto, before I kick your butt out of here!"

"No, not my butt. The ladies love my butt!"

"Hahaha, Daddy's gonna get his butt kicked!" Aki cackled.

Konohamaru wasn't too far behind. "I bet he wouldn't last fiiive seconds against Tsunade-sensei."

"Oh yeah? Well I bet he wouldn't last even _ten _seconds."

"Akkkkiiii!" Naruto whined, running over and picking up his son. Aki squealed as he was mercilessly tickled by his father. "You're supposed to be on Daddy's side at all times!"

"But, but, but-Daddy it tickles!"

Tsunade shook her head. Honestly, everywhere Naruto went he always created a scene. Well, at least he _looked _happy. That should count for something. "Enough you two. I want to go home sometime this century."

"Fine. Fine. Come on, buddy. Let's go get your coat and we'll head to the park to watch the lights, alright?" Naruto set Aki down, linking their hands together. Aki nodded his head vigorously and led Naruto over to the cubby area to get his coat. When he was back, with Aki bundled up and ready to go, he gave the three ladies a wave. "I'll see you guys bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow! And this time, Baa-cha, you might wanna wear more make-up. A six o'clock shadow is _not _your best friend."

"_**OUT!" **_

{Double Shot}

By the time they got to the park for the light show, the rain had tapered out to a light drizzle. Naruto and Aki had sought out shelter in a nearby gazebo. Although it wasn't as great as Naruto had hoped, Aki had enjoyed it. Even now, as the light patter of rain hit their dingy old umbrella, Aki was going on and on about how cool the show was.

"And then, and then, the biiiiiiig dragon came out and it was all glowy and stuff! And, and, I was sooo scared but then the dragon smiled and I wasn't scared anymore." Aki took a second to catch his breath before flinging his chubby little arms in the air. "Thank you for taking me out tonight, Daddy. Love you!"

Seeing that smile, hearing how much Aki loved him despite their rather horrid living conditions made every sacrifice Naruto made oh so worth it.

"Glad you liked it, kiddo. Now let's head on home before you catch a cold."

"But I'm invinci-ACHOO!"

"See what I mean?" Naruto chuckled, fishing through his pocket to pull out a tissue. "Blow your nose."

It didn't take too long to get back to their house. Their house was a two room apartment that was situated above Naruto's cafe. All the thanks could unwillingly go to Orochimaru for that little addition. He supplied the heating and water services and everything two human beings needed for survival as generously as he could rip it all away without batting one sympathetic eye. The man also had his very own key to the place, and dropped in whenever he found convenient. Which, for Naruto, wasn't all that convenient.

To get to his house, anyways, they had to go around the back and climb the rusty stairwell up to the living room. Naruto _hated _walking around the back. Gave too many opportunities to the dirty bastards in the world who got kicks off of robbing people.

So, for protection, Naruto always carried a pocket knife in his back pocket. It didn't do much but it was better than having nothing.

Trudging through the alley wasn't all that fun. Aki kept squirming in Naruto's arms, begging to be put down, but Naruto wouldn't dare take that risk. The alley was narrow and dirty. The rainwater had mixed with all the trash and grime, darkening the already foul looking alley with an ominous glow. "Just a few more steps, Naruto-"

"Daddy! Who's that?"

"What?" Naruto whipped his head around. No. Orochimaru couldn't be here. It was only Tuesday. Orochimaru stopped by every Sunday morning. No. No if he had come here earlier than surely he wanted-

But who he saw and what he expected clashed violently, horribly, an earth shattering sort of thing. Soaked to the bone leaning against the old, brick wall was a man. Unidentifiable, black locks currently sticking to his face from being dampened by the rain. He wore all black. That certainly didn't help to hide the ugly, huge red gash covering his torso.

"DEAAAAAAAD BODY!"

"Shush, Aki!" Naruto's flee or fight instincts were kicking in. But dammit he couldn't just leave this guy behind. Not only would it raise suspicions but if the meager customers he had heard rumors about a dead body lingering in Naruto's alleyway that would really hurt his business. "Maybe... he's not dead. Hold on..." Ignoring the logical instinct to haul ass and go home, Naruto bent down, making sure Aki was held comfortably in his arms, and reached out to feel a pulse.

_Nothing. _

"Oh my God!" Naruto recoiled, eyes wide with fear. Dead. He had a fucking _dead person in his alleyway. _He was so not mentally prepared for this. Then again, when would you ever be mentally prepared to find a dead body in your backyard? Aki screamed only if because Naruto screamed. Screamed like a little girl with a bug in her hair, by the way.

And then something crazy happened.

Something Naruto had only seen happen in horror movies.

The dead body? Yeah. Not so dead considering it _moved. _Alright, it was a twitch. Followed by a very pained, very annoyed groan, but the body was definitely doing things no dead body should do and Naruto wondered if it was appropriate to wet his pants now or later.

"Yay! Dead guy's not dead!" Aki. Please.

Naruto was about to just make a beeline in the opposite direction. Screw going home he could shack it up at Gaara's place no problem. However, the dead person's hand shot out and grabbed Naruto's ankle.

Naruto let loose the most horrendous scream.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

"_**Quiet," **_although the voice was hoarse, there was a sharp distinction to the tone. One that demanded command and respect. He saw a flash of red peak out from under black bangs. Maybe this was it. Naruto was going to be done in by some dead guy. Oh what a world. But instead the wounded man let loose another whisper. _**"Help." **_And then he slumped against the wall, seemingly motionless.

Common sense told Naruto to haul ass.

Common decency told Naruto to help a brother out.

"Why do I have a sick feeling that I'm going to regret this?"

{Double Shot}

Carrying Aki upstairs and into bed was no problem. Carrying a bleeding almost-dead-not-so-dead body? Yeah. Not so easy. Naruto rolled his shoulder around, knowing that tomorrow it was going to be a pain just to lift boxes around. "Damn my innate sense of kindness." He had somehow managed to clean the guy's wound. Mostly because by the time Naruto had gotten through his insecurities and undressed the guy, most of the wound had closed up anyways. All that was left of it was dried blood and a really ugly scar. Weird, but Naruto was more concerned about the consequences to his actions.

What if this guy woke up and slaughtered him?

Should he deliver him to Orochimaru's doorstep and go 'Surprise! I got you a psychopathic serial killer for your birthday!'

Too much?

"Maybe I should make some ramen. Yeah, I'm gonna get some ramen." A bowl of ramen was always needed when dealing with the unnatural. One minute later-instant ramen was the best ramen, no substitutes-Naruto sat back down in the living room, setting his cup of ramen on the coffee table. Not so dead man was placed on the couch with a raggedy blue blanket Naruto had dug out from the attic resting over his body. _'Peaceful,' _that's what Naruto thought. Beautiful was another thought, more diluted than the rest. Pale skin contrasted with a heavy black coloring of hair. Matted to his face, covering his eyes, only a pair of dusty pink lips showing.

If Naruto watched and stared at him long enough, he could have sworn he saw the steady rise and fall of his chest, a sure sign of life.

But _no pulse- _

"Maybe... Maybe I was wrong." Check again. Checking again wouldn't hurt. Maybe, in his haste, Naruto checked the wrong spot, or maybe he didn't press down hard enough. "Just... just a little bit." Naruto reached out slowly, his fingers shaking. He was mere inches away from feeling the guy's neck when a hand shot out and red eyes flashed violently into the world.

"_**You-!" **_

"FUCK NOT AGAIN!" How many times was this guy going to wake up and give Naruto a heart attack? And that grip. It was _ridiculously _strong. Startling so. No mere mortal should have this sort of strength. "Uh... Um. I guess, I should say hello, man? Though if you could let go of my hand that'd be pretty cool. I swear up and down I wasn't trying to rob you or anything. I brought you in because you were like dead and-"

"_**-Stop talking." **_that same, authoritative voice held some sort of magical sway that made Naruto stiffen and his jaw snap shut. He sat there, still as a statute, while the raven gave him a glare that froze him to the spot. Naruto felt every incisive movement the other's eyes made. Like the guy was inspecting him, a piece of cattle getting ready for the _slaughter. _

"Uh... is there something on your face?"

A snort, a glitter of fangs. Wait, _fangs? _The raven smiled, showing a two sharpened canines, longer than the average humans. His eyes flashed a scarlet red, the color of blood, and for the first time the raven spoke more than three words. _**"I'm hungry. You smell good, so you'll have to do." **_

Before Naruto could even translate what was going on, the beast had attacked. Fangs pierced Naruto's neck, an intense pain shot up Naruto's spine that was quickly replaced with a knee-wobbling euphoria. He moaned. Naruto flat out _moaned _and while his blood was being sucked without abandon, Naruto wondered-just wondered-what his life had come to if the guy he had picked up ending up being a _freaking vampire. _

But before he could expand on that thought, the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

This was going to be uploaded earlier, like Monday, but then time got away with me and writer's block was a bitch but HELLO ALL HAVE AN UPDATE. YES GOOD.

Many thanks to all of you who have expressed your like and interest in this story! I was actually sort of worried that the concepts might be so weird put together, no one would like it. But I'm glad you guys proved me wrong c:

Here you guy, chapter two! Enjoy~

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**Chapter Two **

Naruto was floating. Which is stupid since human beings shouldn't float. Then again, in the last 24 hours Naruto had discovered that the world he once knew wasn't infested with only human beings. But back to the floating. Naruto felt... weightless. Limp, boneless, fit any word you'd like there that would create that feeling of being... _there. _Hanging, like a lifeless puppet. He couldn't move his arms. He couldn't feel anything other than the slurping, the constant ejection of blood, the constant _injection _of euphoria replacing the blood in his veins.

Everytime Naruto tried to open his mouth, to tell whoever his attacker was to stop, every protest changed into a breathless sigh. As if he enjoyed being completely devoured and dominated. A heavy weight rested on his body. Close, he could just fall into the weightless darkness and have it cling to it. The darkness would never let him go. A cold, chilly embrace numbing him from his pain and agony—

But then he saw it, the beautiful smiling face of his little baby boy. And Naruto realized that he couldn't give up just yet.

Not... not just—

{Double Shot}

The next morning Naruto woke up, honestly, feeling pretty... refreshed? He found himself lying on the couch with a blanket hastily drapped by his waist. "What in the—?" Was everything from last night just a dream? His hand shot up to his neck, feeling with dread two, tiny holes. Holes were fangs could have easily punctured through to tear out his windpipe. But hey, his windpipe was still intact thank God.

So what happened?

"Morning, Daddy."

Naruto snapped to attention then, full body on alert. Out of all the things he was expecting to see—like Dracula hanging upside down from his wall watching reruns of _Full House_—Aki standing there with a glass of milk was definitely not on the list. "Uh... Aki?"

"Hm?"

"Who got you that glass of milk?" Naruto always placed the glassware above the sink. A place Aki couldn't even think of reaching even if he got out a chair and stacked five pillows on the seat.

The little boy broke out into a huge smile. "From the Dead Guy! But, but Daddy guess what? Dead Guy isn't dead! 'Cause he brought me milk! Dead Guy is really nice." Naruto didn't know whether to be ashamed or amused that Aki could easily be won over with a glass of milk.

'_We'll handle that lesson later.' _Because, first things first, he had to figure out where 'Dead Guy' went and promptly kick the guy out of his house. Or call the cops. Were there special cops that handled these sort of things? What would Naruto even say? _'Oh hey, I found this guy lying in my alleyway without a pulse but then he woke up and started drinking my blood. Wait. Why did you hang up?' _

Yeah, that would work out just peachy.

So Naruto decided to take matters into his own hands. Though getting up was certainly an issue. He wasn't even standing but the act of physically lifting his body from a lying position made him feel all woozy. The room spinned for a few seconds. "Ugh..." Naruto clutched his head, wincing at the wave of nausea that hit his body.

"Daddy?" When Naruto peeked down, he caught a flash of concern on his boy's face. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Just a little out of it. Um... Aki? Do you happen to know where Mr. Not Dead Guy went off to?"

"Your bedroom."

"My WHAT?!" Now Naruto jumped right off the couch. Sure, you can suck his blood but you don't mess with a man's bedroom. That's just all sorts of low. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Little Man?"

Aki shrugged, taking another sip of his milk. "'Cause you never asked me before."

Why that little...

Naruto was out of the living room in a flash. Energy returned because, oh boy was he about to deliver an ass whooping, Naruto ran up the flight of stairs to his room, kicking the door open and pointing an accusatory at his unwelcomed visitor.

"What the hell?!"

The raven peered over his shoulder. This time, Naruto was met with sharp, onyx colored eyes rather than those blood red optics that had frozen him solid just a few hours before. "Oh. You're awake."

"Oh?" Naruto bristled. "Is that all you can say is 'Oh'?! How about a thank you for dragging your sorry hide out of that damn alleyway?! Or, better yet, an explanation for these!" Naruto went to point at the two holes in his neck, blue eyes shimmering with unbridled anger.

The visitor cocked an eyebrow. "I don't understand what you're blabbering about."

"What isn't there to understand about the two fucking holes _in my neck?_"

"There aren't any holes."

"There aren't any...?" Naruto quickly dashed over to a nearby mirror on his dresser. His eyes shot wide open when he found out, indeed, there were no holes. Perfectly unblemished skin. As if... as if last night really didn't—

"If you're done going through an early midlife crisis, let's focus on the fact that your closet looks like a liter of orange soda exploded in there." The raven frowned, obviously disgusted, as he pushed through the closet that had literally one shirt for every shade of orange in the world.

Oh, this guy knew all the right words to push Naruto's buttons. Scowling, Naruto stomped over and pushed the raven off to the side. "Uh, hello? Who said you could come into my closet like that! Also orange is an awesome color." He huffed childishly.

"Yeah. For five year olds. Also, my shirt." The man pointed down to the ugly gash that ran up half of his shirt.

Okay. Maybe last night wasn't a dream after all.

"Do you happen to have anything black?"

"Boxers."

The raven frowned. "Not what I meant. Whatever," obviously annoyed, Naruto wondered what the guy was going to do until he saw him reach for the hem of his shirt. Naruto was like a flash, crossing the distance quickly and slapping a hand to the guy's wrist. The raven snarled. "What?"

"No! You are _not _stripping in my bedroom? Oh God. I've picked up a prostitute."

"Idiot!" The raven hissed. "I'm not about to walk around with a torn up shirt."

"Then wear one of my shirts!"

"I refuse to put them on!"

"You're such a wimp! God, if I find you a different colored shirt will you promise to _not _strip in my bedroom?"

"That's what I've wanted all along."

"Fine, fine. Sit there and don't move." Naruto muttered a 'prick' under his breath before returning to his closet. Contrary to belief, Naruto did have normal colored t-shirts and things. They were just kept in a little compartment dresser underneath his hung up shirts. Bending down, he went into the drawer and dug around until he found a white t-shirt with blue paint splatter on the front. "Here. Use this." He threw the shirt over his head.

The raven caught it rather effortlessly. "It's dirty."

"Yes, and?" Naruto got up and pointed to the gash on the other's shirt. "Your shirt isn't any better."

"I need a shower."

"You're quite the needy guy, aren't you?"

"You're a terrible host."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't really expecting company." Naruto sighed. This was getting him nowhere. Couldn't really interrogate the guy if they kept on getting into arguments. Admitting defeat, he jerked a thumb over to a side door. "That's the bathroom. Don't take longer than ten minutes in there."

"Why?" Was Naruto hearing things or did this guy sound oddly amused? "Afraid I'll ransack your bathroom?"

"No. Actually. I like to do this funny thing called 'conservation'. Ever heard of it?"

"Foreign topic."

Oh this guy really knew how to grind one's gears. Naruto held back the urge to trip the raven as he made his way to the shower. He followed right behind him.

The raven stopped in his tracks. "What are you doing?" He asked.

Naruto crossed his arms. "Following you to the shower. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"I don't swing that way."

An indisputable blush rampaged across Naruto's face. "That's not what I meant!"

"Uh huh."

"I'm going to _time you _so you don't go over ten minutes!"

"You can do that in here, too."

"No. I have to be in the bathroom with you." When Naruto was adamant about something, rarely anything could knock him down. And he refused to let this guy out of his sight, not even for a moment.

An intense down occurred between them. Neither side wanted to back down. Finally, the raven sighed. "Whatever. Just don't peak on me, alright?"

"Wasn't planning on it!"

{Double Shot}

Naruto sat on the edge of the sink, kicking his feet back and forth as he listened to the shower run. He'd been in there for about six minutes now. Since apparently Sasuke had wanted to abuse the full ten minutes. In those six minutes, all Naruto was able to get out of the guy was his name. Not even a last name. Just a first name: Sasuke. Any other question he asked such as age or, the most important one, why Sasuke was lying in his alleyway with no pulse, was brushed to the side.

"So..." Naruto started. The water turned off, the trickling of water droplets dripping down to a monotonous pace. The blond averted his eyes as Sasuke stepped out of the shower, as naked as the day he was born. He even slapped a hand over his face to resist the temptation of looking.

"Hm?"

"Decent?"

"Just about."

Naruto dared to peek through his fingers. Thankfully, Sasuke had wrapped a towel around his hips. Not so thankfully, the towel hung rather low, and gave enough fuel to fire your imagination for days.

Then, Naruto caught a glance at the full-length mirror. He saw himself, obviously. But Sasuke...?

No reflection.

Nada.

Zip.

Naruto screamed. Flat out _screamed. _

Sasuke scowled, stalking over to slap a hand over Naruto's mouth. "Can you stop yelling?"

Naruto ripped the hand off his mouth, pointing to the mirror that was pointing back at him. "Y-You! Mirror! Why don't you show up?"

Being more casual than Naruto could have handled, Sasuke peered behind his shoulder to look at the mirror. He cocked an eyebrow. "Right." He closed his eyes, concentrating, and then a flicker danced in the mirror, forming out into a perfect reflection of Sasuke wrapped in a towel.

Naruto started to shake. He backed up all the way to the door, hands desperately trying to find the door knob. "W-What the hell?" His eyes were wide with fear. "W-What are you?"

A pause. Sasuke tilted his head to the side, onyx damp locks falling to frame his face. He flashed him a smirk, showing off his pointy canines. A glitter. "I wonder."

"You're... a vampire."

Sasuke scoffed. "Looks like you're not that much of an idiot after all." He took a few steps and Naruto flattened his back against the wall. The hairs on his arms stood on end. Sasuke sniffed the air. "Your fear is intoxicating."

"Um... ew?"

"No. No. It's... poignant. Sweet." Sasuke bared his fangs, creeping towards Naruto until he had the blond fully pinned against the wall. The predator was unleashed. Onyx optics flashed to scarlet red, dazzling, the color of blood. Sasuke leaned into the crook of Naruto's neck, inhaling deeply. "I can feel it. The blood rushing through your veins. The sound of your pulse picking up in tempo. The fear—it's so delicious. One little bite—"

Naruto felt immobilized. Frozen as a statue. He could hear his heartbeat pounding restlessly against it's bony confines. It begged to escape. It threatened to fail on him. Blue eyes were trapped by the chilling, predatory stare Sasuke flipped on as easily as a light switch. Frozen. His body refused to move.

He was going to get eaten _alive _and there was nothing he could—

A knock on the door interrupted Naruto's staggering thoughts. A low hiss of annoyance escaped the vampire's lips. Naruto almost wanted to cry. He was saved!

"Daaaaddy!" Another round of knocking. "M'hungry. Can we eat now?"

"U-Uh yeah, little man." Dammit. His voice was shaky. Naruto cleared his throat. He tried to push Sasuke away but growled when the raven didn't even budge. It didn't help that Sasuke fucking smiled like the obnoxious prick he was, knowing Naruto was the weaker guy in this situation. "Move!" Naruto hissed. "I can't open the door with you like this."

"You could say please."

"I'd rather get skinned alive by cats."

Amusement glittered brightly in Sasuke's eyes. "What a way to go out."

"Move man!" Naruto was also pretty hungry considering he hadn't eaten anything in about an hour since waking up. That, and he'd have to open up the store soon. Sasuke finally moved, causing Naruto to open up the door and bolt into his bedroom.

"Yaaay! Food! Daddy, daddy!" Aki toddled over to Naruto, grasping onto the blond's pants leg for support. Bottle green eyes blinked up curiously. "Why were you and Dead Guy in the bathroom so long?"

'_Oh. Nothing major, Aki. Dead Guy, actually his name is Sasuke, tried to drink my blood. I wouldn't recommend it, though, considering that could probably lead to my early death.' _

Yeah. If only it was that easy.

"Uh—" Come on brain, work. Work!

Sasuke, thankfully, stepped in to save the day. And oh look, he was actually fully dressed. "Your father was helping me figure out how to use the shower. It's a little different from the one I have back at home."

Oh yeah. Like Aki was going to believe that—

"Kay!" That easy?! Aki was obviously pleased with the answer as he tugged on Naruto's pants leg. "Now feed me, Daddy, else I'm gonna be late!"

Crap. What time was it? Naruto pulled out his phone to check. Quarter of seven. The kindergarten center opened about forty-five minutes ago. "Alright, little man. Let's get you something to eat."

"Yay! I want pancakes!"

Aki _always _wanted pancakes.

{Double Shot}

Breakfast was, guess what, pancakes. With little chocolate chips baked in to make a plain cake a banging cake. Chocolate Chip Pancakes were Naruto's speciality and don't let anyone else tell you differently. He made about two plates stacked with five pancakes each since he was running low on time. Aki didn't really mind, honestly, as long as he ate a pancake.

"So, do vampires eat anything other than human souls?" Naruto chided as he worked on flipping another pancake.

Sasuke was leaning against the counter, arms folded. He snorted. "Can't say I've ever had the pleasure of tasting a human soul." Then he smirked. "Are you offering?"

"Heck no," Naruto purposefully moved about five inches away after he finished the last pancake. He added it to the stack then took his place at the kitchen table. Aki was about halfway through his plate. He was the kind of kid who liked a hands-on experience. As in, screw the knives and forks, if you could pick the meal up with your hands Aki was going to use his hands or die trying. Naruto clucked his tongue at the mess his son was making.

"Aki, dude, your face is covered with syrup."

Aki paused in his devouring to stop and feel his face. His eyes widened with surprised when he discovered that, yes, his face was super sticky. This just delighted the little toddler as he patted his face repeatedly. "Ne, ne, Daddy! Does this mean that I'll taste sweet forever, now?"

Naruto rolled his eyes but couldn't help laughing at Aki's logic. "You were always sweet, Little Man. But you can't leave the house like that."

"Awwww, but I wanted Haruno-sensei to kiss my cheeks and call me sweet!"

That made Naruto choke on his food. Sasuke, who had been standing by the counter the entire time with a mug of coffee in his hands, raised an eyebrow.

"I'm impressed."

"Don't you dare!" Naruto whirled an accusatory finger at Sasuke before rounding back on his son who was, by all means, extremely giddy over the prospect of cheek kisses. "Why do you want kisses from her, huh? Wouldn't you want cheek kisses from your daddy instead?"

Aki shook his head. "But Haruno-sensei is prettier, Daddy!"

Well, he couldn't argue about _that _but still... Naruto's pride was wounded a bit. Beaten by the apple of his eye for his son's affections. What a world. And that sad part is, was that Aki would probably get all the cheek kisses from Sakura. While, if Naruto even thought of the idea, he'd get a roundhouse kick to the face.

Sometimes life wasn't fair.

After that, Naruto cleaned up the table and washed the dishes. Sasuke, the freeloader, didn't even lift a finger to help. The prick.

"Sorry. That's not my thing." Oh, Sasuke was not sorry at all.

"Then at least get Aki ready for school. Wash his face and help him get dressed."

"What am I? The Helper?"

"I haven't kicked you out yet so you might as well do something useful. Hey, Aki!" Naruto screamed over his shoulder. "Sasuke-kun is going to help you get ready for school. Isn't that great?"

"Yeah, yeah! I want Sasuke-kun to help me!"

If there is one thing in the world that no man or vampire could ever resist, it would be the excited, expectant eyes of a five-year old little boy who expected the world from you.

A part of Sasuke might have crumbled.

Muttering in annoyance, but conceding anyways, Sasuke let Aki drag him up the stairs and out of sight. Finally alone, Naruto collapsed to the ground, arms covered with soap suds. He let out a heavy, shaky breath he had been holding for way too long. When and where did he go wrong in life to end up in this sort of mess? Tied down to Orochimaru. Picking up a prissy vampire with an attitude problem. Honestly, he just wanted a normal, peaceful life. Where he and Aki could find that missing piece in their family and be happy and where Naruto wouldn't have to worry every second of everyday how he was going to make ends meet.

"Maybe I should have just left him there," Naruto mumbled into the sleeve of his shirt. It hadn't even been a day yet, but Naruto could already tell large amounts of exposure with the vampire was not the best thing he needed right now. But deep down, he knew he did the right thing. Okay, maybe not the _right _right thing, but somewhere Karma must be keeping track of picking up a dead-not-dead-actually dead stranger, cleaning them up, and giving them something to eat.

Okay, the last part wasn't really a charity. Sasuke just took Naruto's blood without much care for the blond's consent.

His spiraling thoughts came to a halt as Aki came barreling down the stairs wearing his shirt on backwards. Backwards!

"I thought I told you to help him get ready!" Naruto could feel every vein in his brain throbbing.

Sasuke, refusing to admit his faults, crossed his arms and scowled. "I got him into the shirt, didn't I?"

"Backwards!"

"Am I cool now, Daddy?" Aki stared up at Naruto with bright, green eyes. The eyes that belonged to a boy who would probably cry for hours if you told him no.

Well, not probably. He would. It's happened before.

Sighing, Naruto mentally counted to ten before bending down to grasp Aki's shoulders. "You're the coolest cat in town, kiddo."

"Meow!" Aki giggled before throwing his arms around Naruto's neck.

A bone-crushing kind of hug, but one Naruto accepted nonetheless as he carried Aki to the coat rack by the front door. He put Aki's coat on, snugged on his little hat, and went for his own coat.

Oh right. The guest.

As he buttoned up his shirt, Naruto peered back. "You gonna stand there like a lump on a lug or are you going to come with us?"

A snort. "I didn't know I was invited."

"Like hel—_heck_," Naruto quickly amended, "am I going to leave a stranger in my house. Lord knows what sort of stuff you'll get into."

"Daddy, daddy! I want Dead Guy to come with us too!" Aki tugged at Naruto's shirtsleeves.

Naruto playfully rolled his eyes. "Aki, stop calling him Dead Guy. That's not his name."

"Weeeeeelll, he never told me his real name. So Ima call him Dead Guy."

Fair enough. Naruto wasn't about to argue with five-year-old logic, is was about the soundest piece of logic in the world. Though there was one thing Naruto felt like he should ask before taking Sasuke out into the world. "You'll be okay going outside, right?" Because last time Naruto brushed up on his Vampire trivia he was pretty damn sure they couldn't go out into sunlight for long periods of time. Like, at all honestly.

He wasn't too sure how seeing Sasuke burst into a pile of ashes was going to affect Aki's psyche.

Sasuke was now dressed in a coat, one he got from Naruto's coat rack. It was a tight fit, considering Naruto was a tad smaller in width that Sasuke was. And honestly he looked pretty ridiculous but Naruto wasn't going to say that... out loud. Eh, he did. And for it he got an even nastier scowl in return.

"Your curtains are drawn wide open, aren't they?"

Naruto's eyes scrunched together. What did that have to do with anything? So, he looked around. Sure enough, the curtains were drawn wide open so a lot of sunlight could seep into his room. One, big chunk of sun was shining right against Sasuke's back and, oh look, he hadn't burst into flames. How neat was that?

Oh.

"Get it now?"

"How does that even—"

Sasuke snorted. "Folklore is wrong about _many _things. Only idiots believe the false tales of humans."

It hadn't even been a day yet and Sasuke was already becoming a pro at getting under Naruto's skin without even trying. Excellent. Deciding that, for once, he was going to ignore the jab—for if he tried to argue any longer Aki was seriously going to be late—he let Sasuke have this one as he grabbed his house keys and headed out the door.

{Double Shot}

Once again trying to win over the affections of Aki's kindergarten teacher was a bust. Then again, maybe somewhere deep down Naruto already expected her to reject him. Not like he had much luck in the love department anyways.

Hands in his pockets, Naruto walked out to the front gate where Sasuke was currently leaning against. He honestly looked like Death's Incarnate. Gloom and doom with his hood pulled all the way over his face, head pointing downwards towards the sidewalk, holding steadfast to an aura of 'talk to me and you die'.

How refreshing.

Naruto went over and kicked Sasuke in the side. "Alright, punk. Let's get out of here before someone calls the cops on you."

The blond realized that smiling was probably something the vampire never did. Only intense scowling, frowning, and the occasional smirk did he ever see. Apparently this time he was gifted to the frown as Sasuke slowly pulled himself up.

"You're being over-dramatic."

"Dude, we're in front of a kindergarten and you're acting like some suspicious hoodlum. I'm just trying to have your back."

"Well _don't._"

"Well _fine _Mr. Grumpy Fangs." Rolling his eyes, Naruto pulled out his phone to check the time. It was about time he started heading back to open up the store.

"Hey, Naruto!"

Naruto turned his head, fast like a trained dog, as Sakura jogged up to meet him. His head was already formulating crazy schemes about how Sakura would confess his love for him today. Ironically enough, they all ended up with him somehow getting the daylights knocked out of him by the pinkette herself. Not even in his delusions could he get the girl—what a world.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!" Bright, chipper, and the complete opposite when dealing with Sasuke, Naruto flashed her his brightest smile. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to know..." she craned her head to peek behind Naruto. A tiny blush dusted her cheeks, "who your friend was..."

Oh, there came the iceberg making it's home in the pit of Naruto's stomach. Didn't take a genius for Naruto to figure out who Sakura was referring too.

Fix a better smile. _Fake a better smile. _

Naruto didn't dare to look behind him, to see what face Sasuke was making at her appearance. But Naruto could put on a show. So as he pushed Sasuke down the sidewalk—though he was met with obvious protest—Naruto laughed off the disappointment. "He's nothing special. Just an old bud from college."

"Old bud from college?" Sakura twisted her face in confusion. "But I thought you—"

"—Sorry, Sakura! Gotta jet! If I don't open the cafe now Gaara will ring my neck. See ya~" He was out and around the corner in a flash. His hand was clutched tightly onto Sasuke's arm as he dragged the vampire behind him, ignoring the protests and snarls to let go, though he was pretty sure Sasuke could easily wrench his arm free and then strangle Naruto all at the same time.

"What is your issue!" Sasuke finally snapped, breaking Naruto's hold from his arm.

Fake a better smile. _Create a better smile. _

Naruto tilted his head, a bright smile firmly in place. "What problem? I don't have a problem. Nope, not one. Hey, by the way... how do you feel about coffee?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Answer me, will yah."

"I don't particularly _hate _it..." Sasuke's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Why?"

The ends of Naruto smile turned into something sinister. "Oh, no reason. Just that... starting today you'll be working at my cafe. Congratulations! You've been promoted from a freeloader to a paid freeloader!"

"I refuse!" Sasuke was having none of that. He doesn't _work. _

Naruto clucked his tongue and wagged his finger, pity in his eyes. "You're really in no place to have an opinion since I saved your _sorry hide _off the street." He had a point. And even though Sasuke was throwing a parade of curses towards Naruto's direction, the logic was sound and justified. For once, Naruto felt like he had the upper hand in life. Which was rare considering any moment of pride he had was immediately squandered by outside forces. But, you know, it was rather nice being the one with all the power for once.

Though, really, how much power could one human have over a vampire?

"You know, Sasuke~" Naruto wrapped an arm over the vampire's shoulder, ignoring the immediate twitch and cringe that followed after, "I think I'm going to like having you around."

"Can't say the feeling's mutual..."


End file.
